Why scammers target people after a break-up
It's not about being naive. It's about timing.
After a divorce, many people are rebuilding their lives, may be feeling lonely, and may have recently sorted out money from a settlement or a house sale. Romance scammers know this. They put time into building a connection, so by the time they ask for anything, it can feel like helping someone you care about.
How a romance scam usually works
- A fast, intense connection. Lots of attention, compliments and talk of a future together, very early on.
- A reason they can't meet. They work abroad, they're always travelling, or something keeps getting in the way.
- Moving off the site. They ask to switch to text, WhatsApp or email quickly.
- A sudden problem. A medical bill, a business emergency, a travel cost or a stuck payment, and only you can help.
Warning signs
- They won't video call, or the call always seems to fail.
- Their photos look professional, or their story keeps changing.
- They ask a lot of questions about your money, your home or your divorce settlement.
- They ask for money, gift cards or bank details, or ask you to receive or send money for them.
- They suggest an investment, including cryptocurrency, that sounds too good to be true.
The golden rule: never send money, gift cards or bank details to anyone you've met online, however genuine they seem and however urgent the story.
Protect yourself
- Keep chatting on the site until you've met in person.
- Video call before you meet, and meet somewhere public.
- Keep your finances private, including anything about your settlement.
- Talk to a friend. Someone outside the conversation can often spot what you can't.
- Check their photos. A reverse image search can show whether a photo appears elsewhere online under another name.
If you're worried
- Stop replying, and don't send anything.
- Report the profile on the site.
- If you've sent money or shared bank details, contact your bank straight away.
- Report it to Report Fraud (formerly Action Fraud) on 0300 123 2040. If you live in Scotland, report it to Police Scotland on 101.
Being scammed is never your fault. Scammers are skilled at what they do, and reporting it helps protect other people. For more on staying safe, read is online dating safe?