Nerves are normal
If it's been a long time, feeling rusty is completely natural.
Your date may well be feeling the same. The point of a first date is simply to find out whether you'd like a second one. It doesn't have to be perfect, and it doesn't have to lead anywhere.
Plan something easy
Short, simple and somewhere public.
- Coffee, lunch or a drink. An hour or two is plenty, and easy to extend if it's going well.
- A walk with a café stop. Side by side can feel more relaxed than face to face.
- Something with a talking point. A market, a gallery or a museum gives you both something to chat about.
- Skip the big gestures. An expensive dinner or a whole day out puts a lot of pressure on a first meeting.
For more ideas, see 25 first date ideas that always impress.
What to talk about
The life you have now, not the one you've left.
- What you enjoy. Hobbies, holidays and what a good weekend looks like.
- What you're into at the moment. A book, a series or somewhere you've been.
- Them. Follow up on things from their profile, and really listen to the answers.
Keep the divorce talk short. It's fine to mention it, and fine if they ask, but a sentence or two is enough on a first date. Our guide on how and when to talk about your divorce has more.
Little things that help
- Wear something you feel good in. Comfortable beats trying too hard.
- Arrive a few minutes early. It gives you time to settle.
- Go easy on the drink. One to relax is fine. More can cloud your judgement.
- Offer to split the bill. If they'd rather treat you, a simple thank you is enough.
Stay safe
Meet somewhere public, tell a friend where you're going, and make your own way there and back. For more, read is online dating safe?
Afterwards
However it went, you did it.
If you'd like to see them again, a short message the next day saying you enjoyed it is all it takes. If you didn't feel a spark, a kind, honest message is better than silence. And if it didn't go to plan, that's fine: every first date makes the next one easier.