Being divorced is nothing to hide
It's part of your story, and on The Divorced Pond it's something you share with the people you'll meet.
Being open about it from the start means nobody is surprised later, and the people who get in touch already know where you're coming from.
On your profile
One short, positive line is plenty.
- Keep it simple. "Divorced, and ready for a new chapter" says all it needs to.
- Look forward, not back. Talk about the life you have now and what you're looking for, not what went wrong.
- Leave your ex out. No details, no digs, and no photos with them cropped out.
In early messages
If it comes up, answer honestly and briefly, then move the conversation on.
Something like "Yes, I've been divorced a couple of years now. What about you?" is friendly and honest, and hands the conversation back. There's no need to explain why your marriage ended at this stage.
On a first date
A first date is about getting to know each other, not reliving the past.
- Keep it brief. A sentence or two about your situation is enough.
- Skip the blow-by-blow. The details of the divorce, the money and who was to blame can wait.
- Don't run your ex down. Even if it's deserved, it can leave your date wondering how you'd talk about them.
- Listen too. If they've been through a divorce, let them share as much or as little as they like.
A good rule of thumb: if you've spent more than a few minutes talking about your ex, steer the conversation back to the two of you.
As things get more serious
You can share more as trust grows.
Over time, it's natural to talk about what you learned from your marriage, how things are with your ex now and, if you have children, how you share their care. Being honest about these things helps a new relationship start on solid ground. If you have children, our sister site The Single Parent Pond has a guide on how and when to mention you're a parent.
If it still feels raw
If talking about your divorce still brings up a lot of feeling, that's okay. It may simply be a sign to go a little slower. Read dating after divorce: how to know you're ready for the signs to look out for.